and failed. A 'slip' for an alcoholic is a terrifying experience.
The obsession of the mind and body with booze returns witht the wild
fury of a sudden storm in springtime. When the person sobers up,
he or she is devastated. When I relapsed, I had two options: yield
my heavenly Father - choose to live as a victim of my disease; or
choose to trust in Abba's immutable love.
The words of Brennan Manning in "Abba's Child"
My dad was here last weekend practically begging to take my kids back to Kelowna with him for the week. And as I have decided that that won't be happening anymore and it won't be effective to tell him why, I just gave excuses and/or said no, I want my kids with me. I got this look from him that said 'you're the family wrecker' and all the negative feelings pop back up. Well, just when I have to tell him no, they do. And I have to tell my Skyler WHY he can't visit grandma and grandpa at their house anymore. And for that, I am mad and sad and hurt. Once again.....
So what did I do? I remembered - a day or two later - to run into God's arms. I have a little formula that my pastor and I worked out to deal with this. And I did the formula prayer. Thank you, Lord!!! I know I will have to run to you many times in the future; many many times!!!!
Awww. Good for you for doing what you felt right. Also, I love and adore Brennan Manning. I might be posting on the book I'm reading of his next week! He just tells it in such an amazingly loving and sweet way.
ReplyDeleteOh, and be sure to enter my prize this weekend! The people are going slightly nuts over there. People get a little crazy when prizes are involved for some reason.