Friday, June 19, 2009
Something I struggle with right now
How does one forgive when one is faced with that issue many days of their lives? How do I forgive and let it go, something I thought i've done over and over, when it comes up at every holiday, at every family gathering, when making summer plans? How do I forgive? How do I forgive the denial of my family? How do I move on when my choice to face it and their choice to bury it has created a rift? Is the only answer, REPEATEDLY?
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Oh man... I get this. I just thought of the same thing earlier today. I guess there are two kinds of forgiveness. The one kind when the offense is made, and wont be repeated so you can forgive and wipe the slate clean.
ReplyDeleteThen there's the other kind. The kind where you have to forgive, but the person you're forgiving is either unaware, unrepentant, or unchanging.
The bible of course doesn't say, "Ye shall only forgive when some jerk makes a mistake and appologizes first." Dang. Wish it did.
So I suppose you're exactly right. Forgive repeatedly. Why is that SO difficult to do?
No answer.
Blessings friend,
Sash
I often easily forget things and move on. It's a family trait!! I've noticed I always seem to come back to it, though. And sometimes I need that feeling there in order to behave the way I need to behave - to be strong - and to stand up for myself in the future regarding that issue. In some ways I feel like this, in this instance. How can I let it go, be peaceful about it and still keep my children safe and away from any danger. How can I not give my parents a chance to betray me once again unless I keep the reminder of why I need to do that? How can I forgive and become peaceful in myself when I feel that I must hang on to it? I guess the only answer I have is to ask God and listen.
ReplyDeleteMy sister thinks that I am the cause of the 'rift in the family'. And she so desperately doesn't want to be the cause of the rift that she puts up with a destructive compromise for my parents. She gets cheap room and board and simply has to put up with her malestor. Hmmm, sounds like selling out to me - all in the name of forgiveness and moving on. But she doesn't want to do what I've done and be blamed like I'm being blamed for not denying the issue and holding accountability. So I really cannot have much of a relationship with my immediate family (not that I had a lot of one in the first place) because I don't want to deal with their blame or their denial. How can one be close to one who thinks so wrongly of them just to protect theirselves in their little bubble of denial? Perhaps it is better to separate from my family. Do you think moving to Cayman Islands is far enough? Well, i should at least get something good out of it, right?!